Trumpianity Old Testament Hustle

Religion meets capitalism. Miracles meet marketing. The Bible gets a hostile corporate takeover. From bestselling satirist Johann Bachmann comes Trumpianity, a laugh-out-loud, irreverent take on faith, finance, and the absurdity of modern religion gone corporate. When Donald Trump, a self-proclaimed Messiah of Capitalism(TM), appears out of nowhere with a divinely inspired (and heavily monetized) business plan, he assembles a team of questionable disciples to help him build a faith-based financial empire: ? Saint Mike Pence-iel - a reluctant spiritual advisor turned corporate sellout ? Joe Rogan - a marketing guru who can spin conspiracy theories into ad revenue ? Burnout Sanders - a tech genius tasked with automating divine intervention ? Alex Jones - a financial mastermind who tries to trademark the Book of Revelations ? Elon Musk - a social media expert turning Judgment Day into a viral event Together, they set out to do the impossible: sell salvation, license the afterlife, and make the Ten Commandments a subscription-only service. From NFT-based blessings to pay-per-view apocalypses, Trumpianity is a biting, hilarious, and disturbingly realistic satire of the intersection of faith and finance. ? Perfect for fans of Christopher Moore, Terry Pratchett, and anyone who's ever wondered what happens when religion goes full corporate. (Warning: Reading this book may cause divine audits and unsolicited prayers.)